Robert F. Shhhh

An open letter to the editors

An open letter to the New York Times, the Washington Post, CNN, NPR, Google, Facebook, Twitter, Fox News, The Nation, The National Review, and To Whom it May Concern:

You must stop mentioning the name Robert F Kennedy, Jr. He is far more dangerous than his father who was eliminated by our intelligence services, just in time to avoid a disastrous withdrawal from Vietnam. 

Our country cannot hope to survive if Robert F Kennedy, Jr’s voice continues to gain traction among the unwashed masses. Robert F Kennedy, Jr is against everything America stands for. 

In a country fulfilling its Manifest Destiny to bomb the world into democracy, Robert F Kennedy stands for peace. In a country built on corporate profits Robert F Kennedy, Jr stands for costly safety regulations. In a country that is preserved by clandestine operations, Robert F Kennedy, Jr stands for transparency. In a political system based on colluding political parties that pretend to hate each other, Robert F Kennedy, Jr courts bipartisan support.  

In a country where every moron has a license to vote, Robert F Kennedy, Jr promotes the folly of democracy.

Surely America as we know it cannot survive if these ideas catch on. If we allow free speech by conspiracy theorists it will spell the end of cooperation by billionaires and monopolists everywhere. Who will be left to cooperate? Organized labor?

Seven years ago you covered the Trump campaign by debunking everything he said. How did that work out for you? Robert F Kennedy, Jr is far more dangerous than Trump because Robert F Kennedy, Jr diabolically evades debunking by saying things that are technically true. Facts, like ideas can be too dangerous to refute. They must be exterminated before they go viral.

Thank you for protecting me from truths too complex for me to understand. Thank you for suppressing dangerous ideas. Thank you for publishing what those in power want published.

But don’t you dare speak the name Robert F Kennedy, Jr. Don't you dare write another word about Robert F Kennedy Jr. Don't you dare allow the name of Robert F Kennedy Jr into print, 

Your obedient servant,

Josh Mitteldorf